alptour

Friends were there including Andea (my old friend from high school), Shelby (Ella Grace’s friend), The Pope Fam, The Foti’s, and Kirby Rockett & mom, Kim.

30 years before my grandfather was playing on stage at the Rhyman with his big “bass fiddle”. he was making pretty harmony with Pee Wee King, rubbing elbows with Hank Williams, Sr. once, minnie pearl came to town when i was about 8 or 9 for a book signing. my Daddy Jim stood in line and when it was his turn & she asked who to make the inscription to, he gave his stage name “Jimmy Wilson” and she came running around the table yelling “Jimmy Wilson!!!” and hugged him. i remember waking up in the middle of the night to bacon & eggs being cooked for “breakfast” after he came home from playing at some country club with his combo. daddy jim plucked the upright and the electric bass, wrote songs, & had an amazing range.

my mom, though she never performed vocally, could hear a harmony as good as daddy and daddy jim. she has no confidence in her voice but knows sharp from flat and was never afraid to tell me if i was either. she taught me how to listen and compliment the melody.

i sang here & there growing up. it was usually dancing or acting that had me on stage, but whenever i needed to i sang. i never had any training and i had some BIG shoes to follow so i frequently wound my chords up and stopped breathing when i tried to sing cause it was “not my thing” and consequently made myself sound like it.

fast forward. i’m 34. haven’t been on stage for ANYTHING in almost 15 years, even though that’s where i’ve always felt most comfortable. in a new church and they’re hurting for praise team members. ok, i’ll give it a shot. the guy in charge at the time says “robin is joining us this week, she has a smooth alto voice…” and i was on my way.

year or so later, Chris Kelsey takes the job and is the first person to give me any confidence in my voice by telling me how it was MY voice and I could control it if i knew how. he explained how and i became confident and comfortable. i had the ear and the control now. i sang for 4 years on that praise team. changes took place and i ended up singing backup with one other guy for a good friend leading. we clicked and it was SO awesome. i sang every sunday. my children stood and watched me sing, but not in smoky nightclubs, i was singing about how great our God is, how He never lets go, how we are made for worship.

the sunday after i turned 38 we finished out set, i packed up my in-ears for the next week, put my mic with the blue tape on it in the stand and left the church. all hell broke loose before wednesday of that week and we never went back.

i was so mad…at so many things. with all the uncertainty i felt the thing that hurt the worst was that such a huge part of who i had become-based on who i’d really always been- was taken away. no warning, no explanation, made no sense.

we went to a new church. i sat in the back, angry and hurt. obviously in NO shape to be leading in worship. i went home every sunday afternoon for six months and closed the door to my room and cried.

God has healed me since that time. I can worship again. I can sing for God and never worry if anyone else will ever hear me again. God has allowed me to serve Him at Frazer in the drama ministries. What a blessing. Beauty for ashes…

this site has become a place for me to archive my life for my children. anne louise already remembers many of these stories & uses pictures for school work & general sharing. she is becoming more & more interested in music and it runs deep in me. i wanted to preserve my thoughts about it. so there ya go.

I have been so busy that i haven’t updated the site since the Christmas Eve post. I didn’t know when i wrote about it being my 42nd Christmas Eve it would be the last one with Oma. ironic. She went home to be with Jesus and her beloved Opa on May 2, 2010. I miss her already.